MY MOTHER-IN-LAW (2)

My mother-in-law turned 80 today, so congratulations to her.

Being 80, deciding how to celebrate the day became a complicated affair. There is a party in two weeks' time for her immediate family (20+), plus siblings (being one of 11, there are many of them); and close friends and neighbours were invited to brunch this morning. But what to do on the day itself if you are a member of the immediate family but not a friend or neighbour (i.e. like me)? The answer was one of those curious Danish social customs which I am learning to navigate after 25 years of experience. Although not officially invited to anything, we were supposed to turn up unannounced for afternoon coffee at the rather precise time of 15.00. Don't ask me how I was supposed to know this, I just was.

Such customs are in fact more widespread than you might imagine, particularly in rural areas. It reminded me a bit of the golden wedding I went to some years ago (of my wife's aunt and uncle). People turned up early in the morning to sing for them as a surprise. We were then invited to eat and drink something in a house which was miraculously decked out for 30+ guests at 8.00 am.

As a foreigner, this can be confusing. However, as I say, I have had 25 years of getting used to it. So I was at my mother-in-law's - quite by chance, of course - at 15.00 sharp, and thoroughly enjoyed the coffee, buns and cake that just happened to be there.

Walter Blotscher